Fast food in the Wilderness — Feeding the multitude with a fishy story!

Fast food in the Wilderness — Feeding the multitude with a fishy story!


We have all heard of Jesus’s miracle of feeding the multitude with bread and fishes. The only difficulty is remembering the precise details. Was it five loaves? or seven loaves? Was it two fish? or some fish? Were seven baskets of leftovers collected? or were twelve baskets? And was it 4000 or 5000 who ate until they were full? The answer, it seems, is all of these because in fact, the Gospels contain six variant versions of feeding the multitude. And to reconcile them with each other would indeed take a miracle. Now, some Christian apologists will tell you that there was not one, but two rather similar feedings, one for 5,000 and one for 4,000. But if that were true, it raises some difficulties. For one thing, Luke and John report only one feeding miracle, and don’t so much as hint that there was a second performance. In Mark’s first version of this wondrous tale, Jesus breaks five loaves, and divides two fish, and the disciples set this before 5,000 men, who eat until they are “satisfied.” And the disciples then gathered up twelve baskets of leftovers. Now we are supposed to be impressed merely reading of this miracle. So presumably the disciples themselves were majorly impressed as actual witnesses and participants. Yet if Jesus performed this conjuror’s trick a second time, not long after the first, and in identical circumstances, how could it be that in Mark’s version 2 of the fishy tale, he has the disciples ask Jesus “How can we feed these people, here in this desolate place?” Had they already forgotten the matinee performance?? Was the collective memory of these guys, who are chosen to spread the good news to the world, so bad? The reality, of course, is that we have simply two versions of the same yarn, told in almost identical wording, and Mark has thrown them both into the pot as a form of emphasis. Now Matthew, who derives most of his material from Mark, slavishly repeats both of Mark’s versions, although in each, he adds to the numbers fed with additional women and children, thus making the miracle even more impressive. And this exaggeration of Mark’s material is, in fact, a characteristic trait of Matthew. When Luke sets to work on improving Mark’s story, he adds that Jesus welcomed the crowd, spoke of the kingdom of God, and even healed the sick while he was at it. But it is Gospel of John who embellishes the story most. He has Jesus go up a mountain—always a good setting for a miracle— and John also decides this is all happening at Passover. Well he would, wouldn’t he? He even introduces dialogue quite unknown to the other evangelists. Jesus asks Philip “Where can we buy bread to feed the people?” He has a role for Andrew, who introduces a boy, who just happens to have about him five loaves and two fish! Are we to presume that the other five thousand men who had gone up the mountain did so without a morsel? As a final flourish, John has the crowd chant “This is the prophet, come into the world!” It is, of course, all very theatrical, and all very bogus. Now this ridiculous fast-food episode is actually no great mystery. That use of the word “prophet” at the end of John’s version is a clue. The tale is found in a simpler form in the story of a notable Jewish prophet called Elisha. Like Jesus, Elisha raised the dead, made the blind see, could control the weather, had God speak to him on a mountaintop, and at the end, was taken up to heaven. In 2 Kings 4, we can read of this early-day holy man, performing a more modest food miracle, and feeding merely 100 men, with just 20 loaves. Jesus, of course, has to surpass all earlier prophets, and so the numbers are made even more impressive. But it isn’t true. It isn’t history. It’s more astounding rubbish from the New Testament!

57 comments

  1. This is where Ronald McDonald an Jesus contrast. Ronald has fed billions with his high-caloric manna from McHeaven. Amen.

  2. What about Jesus going forty days without food in the desert?  How is that even possible?  If it's true, his brain must have been fried and his gut horribly enlarged.  

  3. Its amazing how low these christians are to perpetuated this sloth and nonsense throughout the world 

  4. This is the most hysterical story of all!!! Whoever believes this is simply stuck on stupid! And I can say this all day long, as an EX-XTIAN, I've awaken from the jebus juice coma!

    Can I get an amen!? LOLOL Brilliant dahling, BRILLIANT!

  5. As a Catholic child, I loved these miracle stories, I don't think I gave much thought as to their genuineness, I don't think most kids can rationalize in the same way that adults do. And when you've been weaned on them throughout your early life, they do become the stuff of legends with a hint of truth. Fr Christmas we learn later, that it's not really true, and we just accept it as tradition, we are in on the friendly deception of the younger kids. But with Jesus, we're not let in on the deception, the church has invested all their gambling chips in the pot, so it must be maintained at all costs, or all is lost.
    Good video, ..I was unaware of the earlier fable in Kings2:44, had to check that out. 

  6. Religion demands one leave their last brain cells at the door for slavish adherence to palpable lies.

  7. Isn't it prophetic that the disciples of Jesus appear to be the most dense group of human beings in recorded history?

  8. What is being attested in the gospel is that it Happened, it does not matter how they say it but what is important is they're testimony, To place people and have them write a synopsis about the 9/11 incident, they may say something that is common to all but I can assure you, you will find some different for it is only normal for people to attach they're own view point and it is only true that experiences differs from every individual, a muslim account would be different from a local viewpoint, one maybe bias and the other would be sad. what scary would be the account would all be similar like a copy of another. and that would be more suspicious. If there is the cause then there would be the Effect and the effect is the 2.3 billion Christians all over the world. do not misjudge peoples intelligent. To say humanity is but a myth and there is no human that exist in the world, is the same reasoning that says Jesus is just a myth.Then why is there Christianity? then why do human exist?

  9. I always thought the story of John the baptist sending our a few of his deciples to find Jesus and ask him if he is the one to come or should he look for another. Here is the problem at the time of Jesus's baptism the sky opened up and a dove appeared and a voice that said "This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased". My question is did he have that short a memory or did it not happen at all. I say it never happened and poor John was beside himself with concern.

  10. Speaking of the feeding, maybe we should use a bit of logic. First of all there is no proof that there ever was such a feeding.
    But assuming that there were, how many people could there have been. (These numbers are always exaggerated) Lets assume that there were maybe 20, 40, maximum 100. Next, it does NOT say that Jesus multiplied the food, we simply assume that he did. Remember there were no McDonald's in those times. If people went someplace further, they would take food with them. When Jesus offered them small amounts of food, they simply declined. Also it does not say how big those baskets were that they used to collect leftovers, and who counted them.

  11. There are no women in heaven. And saying holy, holy for eternity and bowing before God forever would be a huge let down. And there is that thing that this heaven is a cube…yikes.

    Then there is when do you go to heaven? Most people believe that you go there as soon as you die, like Jesus did but when he comes back the dead spirit will be raised. But then when Jesus was being crucified he said to the guy next to him that he would go with Jesus to paradise. But then you have the rapture and those who are walking around suddenly are taken up to??

    Then there are the demons, seems to be billions of them, from where? Satan is walking around wanting to devour people. Lucifer has fallen and is where? The devil is where? I thought the fallen were bound in hell and where is hell in the sea, underground and how could Lucifer have control over the air?

    2000yrs later no clarification. So what have these priests been doing all this time?

  12. Am I the only one that sees this story begs many questions like : what kind of fish did Jesus produce? What kind of bread? It sounds like they were in the middle of no where. Where were the first two fish caught? Did anyone cook the fish or did they eat it raw?

    I just don't understand how this garbage can be thought of as a real event.

  13. Compare this to the gathering and feasting of 4500 men only (!) at Pylos, in Book 3 of the Odyssey. See "The Homeric Epics and the Gospel of Mark" by Dennis R MacDonald.

  14. with God, all things are possible! Jesus is the Son of God. No matter how many books you read, how much knowledge you think you have, how perfected an accent you speak, you can never KNOW GOD unless He lets you. you haven't been invited and this is why you think like this. you are blind to the truth of God and you will never be able to figure it out, theorize through it, logically understand it, because you cannot read the white on the page! 
    but if you ever think you would like to know the mystery, the real one, not made up by you or people like this. who talk big words, puffed up, elephant talk, if you want to know (from a pure heart), then just ask for Jesus to show you the way!

  15. That this 'rubbish' has 'astounded' so many people for so long is the true 'miracle'….Oops….I mean 'tragedy'.

  16. Mark states there were 2 instances when the Lord fed the multitudes Mark 6:30 on and Mark 8. The first time He fed the multitude in Mark is covered also in John 6 as well in Luke 9 with more detail concerning the matters and all numbers of fish, bread, people are exact as well as the grassy area. At the end of the first multiplication of bread and fish Mark 6:52 says "they had not understood the miracle of the bread and that their hearts were hardened". The second time the Lord fed the multitude which had fallowed Him for 3 days the disciples still were in that state and had not understood. After the feeding, they got on a boat, made a stop where the Lord confronted some pharisees and got on the boat again. The Lord then warned about the leavened of the pharisees and they argued because they thought it was bcuz they forgot to bring bread on the boat, then the Lord reminded them of both instances where He did the multiplication miracle to which they answered and hopefully they understood the Lord will provide and give in excess. That the Prophet succeeding Elias asked double the portion of the Spirit of Elias fed the multitude and healed the sick only demonstrates the works of the Spirit of God. That it isnt true or History has not been proven in this video.

  17. If Jesus made the food handed out then who made the basketfuls of leftovers? ?Those were not handed out so apparently the crowd itself was capable of multiplying food.

  18. Hardly surprising that for more than 1500 years only ordained clergy, (or church-educated aristocrats with ecclesiastical permission) were permitted to read or own a Bible on pain of death
    Also why it was forbidden for the Bible to be translated from Latin (eg Jerome’s Vulgate) into any language that common people could actually understand.
    Thus, priests could selectively dispense tales that were specifically written to amaze the “stupid donkeys” and “the rabble”, as the church fathers so affectionately referred to the faithful of their flock.

  19. I generally have a couple of loaves and a few fish in my pocket when I go out just in case I run into 5,000 hungry people. More bible bollocks. We done.

  20. Even as a child I remember being skeptical of this story. No one ever seems to address the actual nuts-and-bolts of this supposed miracle. How it physically occurred. So I have to imagine that after Jesus tore off a piece of fish to hand out, some more fish substance was generated at the spot just vacated?

  21. This story makes more sense as a version of the Stone Soup fable. Everybody claims to have no food when most actually have plenty hidden away. Then the beggar / Jesus character gives them an excuse to reveal their hoarded food without social embarrassment. Hey presto – food "magically" appears where no food was before.

    Same trick as the water to wine. The Jesus character knew the jugs had the good wine in them, even though the host protested they contained only water. Then JC declares the water has been transmuted and, hey presto, the host is saved from humiliation.

    The stories of the bible make some sense, as fable but not as accounts of reality.

  22. Presumably jesus gutted the fish while he divided them. No self respecting god would make their sheep eat fish guts. If you've ever watched any cooking programs you'd know that gutting 5000 fish would take one person, even a miracle worker in the kitchen, several days. 😂

  23. If there were 5000 how can they hear him when there was no microphone at that time? If it's a congregation of 5000, the Romans would surely want Jesus dead because he's getting too powerful politically or religiously.

  24. Damn it people you have to have faith feeding a few thousand with 2 fish and 5 loaves is nothing he made everything including us in 6 days even though he did get a little tired he rested on the seventh. God gets tired?

  25. This is the most believable of all Jesus' miracles for me. People were stingy then. They kept to themselves and fended for them selves. The idea of sharing was alien. As it turned out, there were more loves and fishes stored in the people's packs than was needed. It was a great revelation that mankind could share and still prosper.
    There is no magic needed here. Just simple truth. Treat your fellow man as you wish to be treated. If you don't, expect the worst. Starve asshole!

  26. The god stories are like comic book characters.
    Each new iteration must be bigger, stronger or more clever than the previous.

  27. You show yourself ignorant.
    You are the antichrist
    You mock the Word of God
    If you do not believe the Bible
    Keep it for yourself
    You are deceived and I pray that God open your eyes.

  28. if you take 12 reasonable sized baskets and put 5 breads and 2 fish in them at the start you would probably still have at least 5 empty baskets left so how do you get 12 baskets of remains over at the end ?

  29. There is no way what so ever a man or woman can feed 5,000 people with just 5 pieces of loaves and 2 fish, I don't care what anyone says. (no way)
    It's ridiculous people believe this story it's like saying Santa Clause exist and reindeers can fly or that muhammad crook character got on a horse and flew into the sky and talked to moses and jesus. (More rubbish)

  30. I have seen intelligent people lost their minds at 50yrs old ,so if the Disciples forget sometimes it shows them to be human, I guess you never forget, or you have extra memory that you read from, is it rubbish to forget things if you doesn't make a note of writing down all or somethings?

  31. What really would have been impressive for Jesus to do is feed the starving people every day, instead of on one or two occasions…

  32. How amazing… people actually accept this kind of nonsense as true, without a shred of supporting evidence.  And these people were even able to count the number of people who were fed.  Gosh, they must have issued a known number of food tickets.

  33. 1) In them thar days men would have food in their robes for when they got hungry. Jesus primed the pump so to speak by providing some food and the listeners added their food to the baskets for others to eat. Not an uncommon occurrence in those days.
    2) There were neither 4K nor 5K people at these presentations. More likely there were less than forty people. These tribal people usually multiplied "whatever actual number" by 100 to indicate the power of god.
    I enjoy listening to Mr. Humphries.

  34. That is why we worship the Sun in the sky who are you worshipping if Christianity is a lie then surely I hope you have not taken any money deals then you'd have to get

  35. All religion is a state authorised version of the Nigerian prince scam. It's notoriously full of contradictions and errors to cast away those who would not fall for the main trick where they part you with your time and cash. The worst part is that these stupid people go out and request we all pay in the form of tax exemptions and things like halal meat! Religion is a cancer more dangerous than any virus that infects the minds and actions of people whom should not be trusted with kitchen utensils let alone be involved in education and government.

  36. It is a challenge to teach young people today the gospel story, as it needs to set light to their imaginations.  What could be more relevant than to tell them Jesus invented the filet o fish centuries before McDonalds perfected the process. In those early times, there was not the technology to feed a lot of people quickly, so it took a miracle to achieve this, and as we all know Jesus was a miracle specialist. I keep a stack of empty burger cartons to remind me of this, instead of the usual statues and rosary beads..

  37. According to my Sunday School teacher many years ago,the crowd was embarressed when the boy offered up his lunch and they all then shared theirs.

  38. I'm glad you mention asclepius son of Apollo ,he could raised the dead heal the blind found written in stone , So Zeus kill him because he afraid he would change man destine ,So Apollo kill the Cyclops . When you go to the Hospital or doctor you visit asclepius son of Apollo from 800 bc the ( snake and the staff or walking stick ) the christian build churches on top of his temples to get rid of him

  39. Thank you for sharing this wake up message to my people and yes The Truth is Unbelieveable ! Thank you Again .

  40. What I read about Roman law, if more that one are together they can arrest, crucified the person never taken down only by a imperial order

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