let's talk about mental health ♡

let's talk about mental health ♡



hey guys today this video is gonna be a little bit different from what I usually make here and I want to open up about myself what you really see about me behind the screen I don't usually open up or share much about my life but I put small hints about it on social media but as you can see by the title this video is going to talk about all about mental health and I want to share my experiences with it and my advice to you guys if you're currently struggling like me it might be hard to explain because I just hate talking about what's going on with my life in general I just want to get over it and I want to let you guys know that everyone has their own lights and problems behind the screen and by everyone I mean including youtubers like me because you never know what what's going on in their lives and a lot of us deal with mental health issues like depression anxiety etc and they may seem they may seem happy behind the screen but really are feeling miserable and forced inside and I know I love you guys watching this are young right now but this can happen to anyone at any time depression anxiety and other mental health issues have no age limits like it can literally happen to anyone I have struggled with depression and anxiety for several years and because of that I'm a really shy and quiet person I am NOT that happy jumpy girl you guys see my videos now I'm not saying that depression is a personality trait like for example you have to be sad in order to get depression no not really there's not there's way more than that depression isn't feeling sad every now and again for me I feel really tired and frustrated and lonely all the time I feel a lot of motivation and emotion and I also get a love suicidal thoughts because often I think to myself that I am not good enough I always find myself worthless trying to figure out where I where I belong in this world because of this I would cry a lot like a lot I'm easily triggered into having dark and negative thoughts it wouldn't make my mind race non-stop like it would make me stay up all night and just think about it like I wouldn't get any sleep at night I would just I don't know why I just I always end up thinking about the worst sides of things rather than what good could come out of things I would get really upset and anxious easily and there were certain times that I couldn't breathe like my heart would pound non-stop it felt like I needed to escape but I just couldn't when I get around people I get so nervous like I'm constantly self-conscious at school or when I'm at the mall or anything I'm always so scared of people judging me it often hinders me from doing things I enjoy like for example there was this one day I was live streaming on YouTube and I got this one hate comment about me from one of the viewers that moment when I saw that comment I instantly froze I lost my words I just stared at the screen in panic inside my voice started stuttering and my heart would start pounding my face was like red I felt like it was about to sweat and I almost cried too and because of that I had to end the livestream early I would sit back and start crying and keep saying to myself that I am not good enough I don't deserve this and that's mainly one of the reasons why I stopped live-streaming here because I'm still scared that it's gonna happen to me again and I know it will because you can't you can't stop people from sending you hate comments because that's how YouTube and the Internet is but I'm just not ready to get pregnant to life stream because I feel so mentally and emotionally drained right now like it's like no one understands why I'm so shai why I isolate myself I don't talk much at all I just hate talking about what is going on with my life so it's hard for me to explain people would say Oh Hannah you're a youtuber you have your friends and family you live in a big house there's no reason to be depressed but no it's not all about the things I'm surrounded with it's all about myself this isn't something being being around family or taking extra applications can fix it's something we can't control you can't just tell someone to stop wanting to die or stop being sad I mean I am always on the verge to having suicidal thoughts it has gotten to the point where I don't want to live anymore I just want to end this pain I have done terrible mistakes in my life and even while trying to become a better person it always comes back to say I will never be good it's so hard for me to explain this kind of stuff to people especially to those who are not going through the same thing when people ask what's wrong and if I'm okay and I would always say I'm fine because I hate talking it because I hate talking about this kind of stuff and it's so hard for me to explain especially to your friends and family sometimes I feel I can't speak to my closest friends and family because I don't want to like bother them I tried explaining explaining it but somehow it doesn't work and and then it triggers more hate for yourself and then that triggers your anxiety and then triggers your depression like I always feel I'm not good enough I always feel like I'm not good enough I feel really worthless I am always so afraid of growing up I was I was gifted all throughout elementary school and middle school then I fell into a dark hole when I got to high school last year when I was in my junior year I almost failed classes I let myself sink into the Depression more due to the lack of motivation I felt like if I failed these classes then I'm not going to be successful in the future I'm just so scared of the future hurling at me because I have no motivation to do anything even right now you know life and life isn't going well for me even when when I met this certain age when I'm about to enter adulthood in college and you're basically on your own but I just can't do that because I feel so tired right now and yes I have self-harm before and I always would pick up my skin really bad until it bleeds which happens all the time at school you know everything at school you know school isn't a really safe place for me because I always feel self-conscious conscious there I feel I feel really anxious there and sometimes sometimes I would get panic attacks there and that's something that I can't really control and that's why school isn't really for me and just want to say that if you're in a same position ask me like if you're currently struggling you're definitely not alone you can always talk to me about it because I know how it feels like and I would really listen to you and be there for you I have had friends that went through the same experience as me like they they opened up about their mental illnesses to me and I still talked to them today and I'm still battling depression anxiety right now but I just don't think it's best to talk to someone about it even when it's even if it's hard to explain there's no other choice and that's the only way to you know let it all out so I bet it's best to talk to someone about about it if you guys have any thoughts or comments about this topic then you can always leave them in the comments below and I will try my best to read through through most of them just want to say thank you guys so much for taking your time to watch this video and I will see you all next week you

31 comments

  1. Honestly, yeah, I can relate, I have had depression and sorta still do, it's hard to be happy when all we can feel is a constant heavy feeling of sadness, and I know what you mean, for me it's also hard for me to talk about these type of things because I feel that it would be hard for others to understand the pain, sadness, hurt, and suicidal thoughts I get and because of that, it really lowers my happiness by a lot, cause then I feel like there could be no one around me to truly understand what I go through, and sometimes I just feel all alone

  2. I feel depression too Hannah…your not the only one, your not alone, other people suffer from the experience of depression…….

  3. Urs started in high school(or not idk) heh my started in 4th grade im going to 5th in the 2019-2020 year one school made me leave i cant go to that school its…called…lowell International elementary school i wont go there again i get hated there cause of lice i think its my fault i have lice but if you have it too ur not alone but now im trying to forget about that school and trying to move on

  4. My anger issues are so hard to deal with. I play Roblox to calm down and escape a terrible reality. Anxiety, too. I am only sometimes happy. I usually feel emotionless. We are here for you, Hannah. It’s ok. We all understand you.

  5. Girl that's fine I always cry and my sis died and that's what made me always be sad and no I dont have depression but I sometimes feel like that nobody loves me or I'm ugly

  6. Every time you feel down, just know that your fans are with you. And they have the time to watch your videos and a lot of people know your worth their time.

  7. I have the same thing I hate talking about it because I feel like they will make fun of me you can open up with your family when I opened up I felt like I wasn't alone anymore
    Stay strong

  8. It's alright! A lot of people deal with the same thing, your not alone.

    We all understand you're sad, but we all love you and will accept you no matter what. Who cares what people think of you be YOU! We will always be here for you no matter what. Don't say your not good enough nobody is not good enough I hope you get well soon! 🖤

    – XoXo
    meh

  9. Its oki Im Depressed cause my dad mentally abuses me and im really anxious at my middle school too.. i dont have panic attacks i have anxiety attacks and i cant stop breathing high and i think people will judge me cause im fat

  10. Its comforting to know I'm not alone,

    I have not self diagnosed myself nor has a doctor

    I often get mad easily, I feel everyone's looking at me, and no not in a good way looking and how my head shape my body shape I'm ugly, and worthless, I would often get suicidal thoughts but it's getting better I don't want to die but I feel it's better off that way, today I ended up getting mad at myself and hit myself with a board until my arm turned red then scratched it, I havent experienced that and it's only getting worse as I am my own therapist and I'm scared, scared to tell anyone but as I am anonymous partially on here I feel it's better off sharing and coping online

    I'm afraid as my mother would tell at me saying "your such a happy girl" "you just want attention" "stop following your brother" they think my brother has it harder than me

    They push hatred on the happier ones ( my parents) I must stay inside and get yelled at and do chores and cry myself to sleep. My brother has been getting it lightly , doesnt want to do a chore? Rest. Want to go bike riding down alleys alone or with friends? Go ahead , my mother would ask him to do something? "No. Ask_____ (my name)"

    And I cant have a say, ita not only favoritism I been body shamed by my brother mother and sister I been insecure hitting myself with rulers punching myself crying wondering where I went wrong

    But I'm okay , I learnt to push it away.
    it's not there its not a problem

    What's worse is a share a room with my sister and mother

    Nobody hears me cry at night mainly due to me learning how to silent cry.

  11. I'm sorry,Hannah…if I ever sit in a dark place for way too long I start to have anxiety,it's coming to me now,don't listen to that monster,instead of saying I'm fine,I say I'm good just to make everybody think I'm ok

  12. I feel the same as you in playing roblox i always commit suicide in game and sometimes i wish it was i cut myself, i tried to gouge my own eyes out and i hit myself saying im never gonna be good enough and my family is most of why this is happening so the will never be able to help me i feel i have lost everything but you still have a proper life. I am a 12 year old girl and i dont feel proper happyness anymore i still wanna die and dont forget that you all are loved and that you all have support and i hope you all have at least one ray of sunshine beaming through the storm of mental health think twice about suicide.

  13. Dont say you're not good enough! You have us!

    And dont have suicidal thoughts 🙁

    Also apart from my ADHD and possibly my Autism, I have anger issues so I always get mad in a bad way.

    And my older brother who is just 22 months apart from me has Autism. He has the one in which he cannot speak, even though I use his communication device twice a week, he still sometimes struggles with his Autism.

  14. After watching this, I cried. Not because of the video, but because the fact how you said you are an easy cryer, I have worse thoughts anxiety..
    Its where something bad happens to you and you begin to see the worst of it. It would make me cry randomly.. I hated it. Sometimes I shut myself out from the world, not wanting to make any friends..
    Later on I began to try and control my crying and become more social. But.. the world sucks.
    I tried to open myself up to the and they shut me down instantly. I got to the point where I knew I couldn't myself. So I stopped being myself. I built my own character based on what people liked.. later on I forgot who I truly was and I had an Identity crisis and it hurt. It hurt terribly.. I just don't want anyone else to make the same mistake. Please be yourself and if people push you down, get back up again and keep trying. Please.

  15. I had depression i got out of it but, i met people who had mental problems.. I try to help them with that.

  16. One of my friend is suffering through depression, She also doesn't trust anyone besides one of my friends and some of me… All she talks about is sadness, Your not alone Hannah 💚💚💚💚

  17. Your not alone, A couple years ago I tried to commit suicide. Today is June 26. In 2014 I tried to commit suicide in June 26. When it hits this day I break down. But i talked to a therapist last week, and he said, "All those traumatizing moments you have had, you shouldn't hurt yourself and you should always remember theres a light out there and you just need to get to it, sucide is selfish and harmful, not to only you but to others. There will always be a dark time in your life, but light will come you just gotta believe in yourself." When he told me that I bursted into tears. I used to cut, and try to find away to hurt myself, but now after everything i feel like I've gotten better. I still feel the darkness around me every day I'm not happy but I will always remember what he told me. And your not alone your never alone I am here for you and all of us are too.

  18. You are like me like I have a lot of depression and yeah I went through a lot of things that are hard for me to handle (like if you do too) also DAB ON THOSE HATERS!

  19. Yeah..Your not alone..My sister is really happy making videos on her channel, but she has depression

  20. That made me really happy I have depression and I have a hard time because I'm going into 4️⃣th grade and I'm lucky I have one friend to love and make me happy in my way… also just to see your videos make me happy especially this one I felt…joy and I can't even really laugh but anyway my bff is named Kylie and like if you are a person like me and also leave a comment if you have a b st friend that you can look up to

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