Talking about my health issues

Talking about my health issues



hey guys okay okay still looking at myself in the viewfinder I realized that I totally look like a Merlin right now I talk so much on her on her appearance and and like I look just like her I have the poop bung going oh whatever okay so this video is not going to be about amberlynn at all um it's gonna be more about me and um because I've been reading in the comments like people have been asking me about who this lipstick is not look at this I just put it on it's like it's the Knicks it's not the lip lingerie see it's like this stick lipstick and it's really patchy I didn't even realize how bad it looked all right now yeah okay so this video is gonna be more about me I've been reading in the comments a lot like people asking me questions on like like an update on my health issues and what's going on and like doctor's appointments and basically like what's wrong with me and I figured out instead of just replying to comments I just make a video about it um you guys really sweet like you guys always check in on me and and you know I feel like I just owe it to you to make a video and just explain everything um so also I was wondering if you guys would be interested in like I meet someone to talk about a little bit in this video I mean cuz it has a lot to do with my health issues but I was wondering for you guys would be like interested in me talking about the relationship I was in like I was with this guy for three years and it was it was a very abusive physically and mentally um it was pretty bad I was with I was with him for three years and the abuse lasted all three years let me know I was abused for a really long time and like I was wondering if you be interested in that story and you know how I got out of it and what happened during the relationship and why didn't I leave and just like wondering if you'd be interested in hearing about that um just let me know in the comments um okay yeah so this video it's gonna be more about what's going on with me right now um I don't even know where to start I probably should have thought about it before I recorded this but I wanted this video to me more like I just wanted it to be like I just wanted it to come from the heart and just I mean I I okay I'm really pissed I'm so glad that my phone saved that that clip I just recorded because if it didn't I I probably would have blown up on the person that just called me and they didn't even know I'm recording the video but I just I was in the middle of recording this video and then I got a call and it the video went away and I thought it deleted the video and its agent but that's annoying so I just put my phone on Do Not Disturb I should have been the poor great and I forgot forgot what I was saying um anyway so I don't even know where to start but basically for like the past I mean I don't know six years five years um I've had a lot of health issues I've had a lot of pain I've had a lot of back pain it started with a lot of it started with migraines that started with back pain severe back pain and that lasted for years you know I was going to doctors and they found you know they found nerve damage and it was caused from my for my ex and then you know it was put on meds and then more recently like the past two years my paints gotten a lot worse um the pain has traveled down my lid um my legs gone numb my leg actually it's mostly my left leg I've noticed my leg goes and um when I try and put like I've fallen I think four times in the past year downstairs um they got it's happened at home I mean it hasn't happened when I've been out but I'll walk down the stairs and then I try and when I put weight on my foot my leg just kind of like disappears it goes numb and then I fall so that's been kind of scary but my back pain is everyday it's an everyday thing from the minute I wake up I got to take my meds and I was just talking my doctor about this I just said like my my my meds are my life like my if I didn't have my medication I wouldn't have a life like I would probably die the minute I wake up I take my meds then I go to bed I take my meds if I don't if I don't have my meds I go into withdrawals and I go into severe pain to where I want to I want to die and it's mostly in my lower back I'm a mid back I just get I get spasms up my spine and I get like I get really I don't know just it's bad um the meds help I'm on nerve medication and I'm on payment they help tremendously but I don't really have a life I mean the if they don't take men and be it's of your pain or take the meds and be tired all day or you know it I really don't have a life though I mean I can't really go out because I get so tired I've lost a lot of friends you know because I can't really do things that people my age can do you know I can't go out to the beach all day I can't I can't stay out till 3:00 a.m. I just I don't have the energy you know I don't have the mental energy I don't have the physical energy I just don't and I think I'm going to make another video on like my like psychological issues that it's caused me that the relationships caused me and I have some really severe social anxiety I have I don't know if I'm agoraphobic I don't know I do not like leaving the house at all um I mean it's it's gotten really bad I can leave the house to go to the grocery store or go to Target or you know run errands but like as far as like if my friends are like oh let's go to the club or let's go here let's go there I go into panic mode I don't like I don't like being away from my house for too long at the time but that's enough that's another video that's more of like mental issues um this is a more about physical the back pain I can deal with because of the meds the back pain like it you know it's it's I've had it for so long it's like second nature to me um but mostly what's been going on for the past I don't know two years is that there's other things going on um I have tremors in my hands my my arm goes numb the tremors are actually really bad the shaking um I don't know it's it's gotten really bad um sometime I've noticed the past because like I've been more vigilant about like writing down my symptoms because when I go to the doctor I kind of just go blank and he'll ask me like is there anything new going on with you um and I notice at the past I don't know six months I've had I've had trouble swallowing it's not all the time but um and it doesn't matter if it's food or if it's liquids it's like it's hard for me to get the muscle strength that's why I don't I don't know that's been really scary but I've had a lot of tests right now the doctors kind of haven't narrowed down to they've talked about maybe it being MS or Parkinson's they they said one doctor said it was ALS um but then I went to my pain management doctor and he said like the doctor can't really the doctor can't really he should have diagnosed you with that without you know getting all the tests done even though there's real no real test for ALS but in a few weeks I have an MRI on my brain with contrast I've had MRIs before that's how they found not Maurice I'm sorry I have had MRIs but um they did an EMG I think and that's how they found then our damage they also found when I've had an MRI before when I went to a neurologist they found Newark dip I mean they found brain damage I guess my X caused some brain damage on me um I mean I would talk I'll talk about that if you guys want to hear about it I mean the way like the way he would beat me up and how severe it got and um you know if you want to hear about it um that they did find brain damage they they found marraige but what they're saying is that my issues from my ex and like it back and they're saying that that's one issue and that he did cause a lot of damage on my body but that they're worried more about that they think that that's one thing and that I also have another thing and that's what they're testing for for the MS and for the Parkinson's and for ALS I think I think this I don't know if this doctor didn't mention it but Amy we'll see so they're testing for like some serious and I feel it I feel it in my body I feel like I felt it in the past few years that something's not right in my body that's not just it's not just my back it's not it's it there's something there it's not normal for me to feel this tired this amount of pain these tremors it's not it's not normal and it's really affecting my life bad it's weird talking about it I mean I talked about it really the only two people I talked about this to are Shannon and my mom they're really the only ones who know like the everything they know they know everything they're really the only ones I feel comfortable talking about it with I mean there's some things I probably will not talk about I'm here just because it's like not ready to be that vulnerable but um I don't know it's weird it's weird saying it out loud it's weird sharing it I didn't think I ever would it's it's it's weird being vulnerable I don't I don't like it but it does even helps one person feel like they're not alone because that's what I needed when I was going through all this I just needed I just needed that one person so I could feel like it wasn't just me and I didn't get that I didn't I didn't I didn't get that so it did just help someone person feel like you know they aren't the only I'm going through this and that the you know there's hope and and maybe this will help someone help someone else I don't know and even if it doesn't help anybody maybe it'll help me talking about it and getting it out there I don't know but but yeah this was just supposed to be a short video and I think it's like 20 minutes already um it was just basically trying to update you guys on what's going on with me um I mean I know I've said it before on my me going at my um on here I really I don't want to do that I don't want to I don't want to post one video and then not post again for like two months I don't like it I don't I don't it bothers me it bothers me every day knowing that I haven't uploaded a video but it's it's hard it's hard for me I've really low self-esteem issues like when it comes to talking and getting words out it's it's hard and I I do have I've been working on my stuttering problem and that's like one of them that's one of like the biggest things I don't like talking I don't like hearing my voice back I gotta get over it though I have to mean making videos has helped my confidence a little bit actually a lot and I mean we'll see what we'll see what kind of reaction this video gets but I mean I mean I care but I don't care at the same time because just talking about it right now it's like getting out there it's awesome and I'd like to talk to you guys about it maybe if you guys have gone through anything like that or if you're dealing with pain or if you're dealing with health issues like maybe we can also talk about it together um but yeah if you have any questions let me know let me know if you want me to talk about the my relationship my ex really that I was with and I will I'll talk about it I think I'm gonna record a video more on like my mental issues because my mental issues are like ten times worse I wish I was just I was talking to Shannon and I said you know I I would any day I would rather have his this physical pain that I have than what's going on in my brain um if I could just tap the pain my physical pain I would take it because what's going to this mental like war that's going on in my head it's it's too much to handle sometimes um I don't know I don't know if it's just I don't know I maybe it's just me but any day like I would rather I like when I was in that relationship I would have rather just been physically abused I would have rather been abused at all but like if I had to pick I would have rather been physically abusive mentally abused because some mental abuse I mean that physical abuse has stayed with me because it's physical and it's you know it's my pain but this mental abuse affects me in every aspect of my life um but I'm working on it you know I'm getting help for it um but yeah sorry I keep ranting I'm not even renting I just keep going off topic um yeah let me know what you want to hear about my channel is I'm not just gonna be talking about this I do still want to talk about amberlynn Reid I do want to talk I want to keep giving you guys updates like each time I go to the doctor um if you want to hear about that um and just let me know what you want to hear from me um yeah and if there's anything in particular about Evelyn Reid or Becky that you want to hear about yes I still hate Becky I hate Becky more than I hate everyone read and I could rant about her all day I hate her so much I hate that poser but anyways I'll let you guys go and thank you for always being there for me and let me know what you want to hear from me and yeah I'll see you later bye

16 comments

  1. Omg I just finished watching the video fully and you’re a super strong person…thank you for sharing that little bit that you did with us 💜 and you’re so beautiful… I really do want to hear more about your life and what you’ve been through and deal with, thank you for this! ✨✨✨ I’ll watch anything you decide to put out

  2. I’d love to hear any stories about YOU. 😃 you’re an interesting person and I wish you could be my friend… the way that you explained your social anxiety is how I am too! And sometimes it gets super lonely.. I found you through Shannon bc I love her too, I always put her videos on replay when I’m feeling anxious and they help me to not dwell on those feelings.. glad to see you posted!!! ✨✨✨✨

  3. You are so sweet and strong. I wish you didn’t have to go through those tough days. Wishing you so much health – you talk lovely. Very real and your soul comes across well. Mental relief will come soon too, keep at it hon.

  4. Beautiful. You should have zero self esteem issues. Let me be that shuga mama&I’ll rub your back everyyyyy damn day💯👑 but on a serious note, this was extremely relatable. I would love to hear about your past. I think a lot of us have been through hell and back, and to have someone be a real voice on a platform that’s full of such stupid not reality like shit.. is quite refreshing. I still won’t get over how nice the mirror is. Perfect brows. You’ll do great abby, keep going! More contentttt woooopwoop. I’d write a more in depth comment but I don’t want to be that vulnerable lol. But allll yes’ from me to every video idea you said. Proud&happy you came back. It’s not easy to do what you just did for real.

  5. To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear. -Buddha
    Health and Happiness from my Team.

  6. Yes please keep telling us about your life and your story! I love listening to you talk, I hope you are ok

  7. OH honey, I just want to give you a big hug… Your so beautiful… Your just the cutest little thing to be going through this. I wish I could take your pain away… How dare someone hurt you like this. I hope he went to jail. I'll pray for you… I'm so sorry honey…

  8. Fuck me finally I have been fighting falling asleep waiting for this to upload lol love you xoxoxo

  9. You have found your niche sweet heart! Tell your story! All of it and help someone else! This is your channel foundation!

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