Workplace Safety – JonTron

Workplace Safety - JonTron

this video is brought to you by Dollar Shave Club real quick if you want to pick up this super slick limited-edition ghost of late night television shirt or any of these other worthy contenders head on over to represent calm slash jontron before it's too late links in the description he was hot so let me know near it fuckin hell I actually burned myself for real all right oh you should be doing what I'm doing I don't think it supposed to do that okay ready today we're gonna be watching some work safety videos I love these you know the ones that employers show their staff that say things that a five-year-old should know by age four you have those these are the best all right let's enjoy some of the best work safety videos the Internet has to offer all right number one think about this I'll try I was I think I mean actually have you been there you might have disagreed oh my god he's woven straight into that Persian rug forever now yes okay he had a bit of an accident but it's one of a kind I give you good price don't sink act act about this I mean while you're thinking about it he's sparking there's flames shooting out of his eye sockets help him you're gonna burn up in that hot suit today I'm not gonna wear that hot suit I don't wear that go with the radioactive chamber I hate that radioactive suits boring out of fashion warm don't like it fuck do you think's gonna happen that was just that guy's fault that's not work safety that's work dum-dum if you ever wrench directly embedded into your brain do you even have time to go oh don't please old are you rely before you died don't die that now this gets straight to the point gets to the meat of it when you're on the job don't die that's gonna really affect my bottom line what do I pay you for what do I pay you for you're literally less than useless like paraplegic grandma to do more than you've got dammit alright number two coughs and sneezes 1945 you may have met a few people who liked doing this sort of thing oh she may be me they're a nuisance I agree but pretty harmless you have certainly seen Oh like this they are not a nuisance there are real danger what is it was like come on man Jesus all right stop it you stop it stop it stop stop it that's what you say the first time you see someone do that there's no video necessary for this something goes hey what's going on whoa in a big crowd stop it stop what the fuck come yeah what do you think you're up to you probably infected thousands of people who were already what do you think this is for I'm going to jam it right up your ass for being such a stupid inconsiderate piece of shit close your eyes I mean at least be a little more delicate with it I've always wanted notice pepper make you sneeze they're always in the old cartoon pepper achoo says it's about Sebastian the cat fuck that wasn't his name what was the Sylvester the cat Sebastian was a crab this is not safe oh my all my passages are burning up it's a neverending feeling of my inner world on fire this was duh sneeze handkerchief see what I mean understand handkerchiefs mmm I just watched it I thought I sneeze hey guys go now you can carry on I don't think he's gonna be able to do here just break a man like that and then and then tell him to just carry on I wonder where he is today hello I'm inspector Roy here to do your regular city health inspection just do your regular city health inspection not here in an inspector garb and a secret serial killer at all just inspector Roy very good spaghetti Oh Harry that's a major violation you can't eat and drink in the kitchen Oh Harry not only is that a major violation of Health that's a violation of human decency well Harry you just keep messing up here you've got on dirty clothes you just wiped your hands with your gloves you need an apron and you've got a key what seriously like he's mad doggin inspector Oh Roy right now all right I need a sink well you'll be eating through a tube for the rest of your life Harry what are you doing in there without the light on you can't be washing dishes without the light on now what are you doing back there you better not be doing anything illegal under cover of darkness let's say this is your chemical storage closet but you have food in here stored with chemicals now that's a violation and that's a repeat from your last inspection this place is like it's serious hazard I feel like we're I feel like we're slowly uncovering a crime scene here now why would you need three barrels of hydrochloric acid here this is a Wendy's Harry that's not a hand sink that's a prep sink you just washed your hands on top of your defrosting chicken and contaminated it and this chicken here it's a 64 degrees it's in the danger zone that should I don't think I've ever heard anyone for two raw chicken is in the danger zone danger zone Harry there's blood all over this lettuce no I mean I've already made the joke and I was serious it really is now Harry what is going on here you got fingers in the spinach a foot in the arugula and that's just bringing a whole new meaning to I had a lettuce berry I heard that toilet flush but I didn't hear the hand sink did you wash your hands got to wash your hands before you know I didn't what's going on John called me and said the health inspector was here yeah we felt pretty bad thanks to Harry Harry who's Harry Harry got away with the watermelon scot-free you've gotta be fucking kidding me he got away with this whole time you passes you've been hoodwinked all tore head trauma bloody lucky hello I mean she's just like shopping at your stores they're an issue can I help you take this in size 8 please yeah you check the back see if I care uneasy I hope you like falls through the wall on to the other lady and they both die because really they both seem kind of unpleasant and I don't like them okay oh what a surprise are you dying back there they've been feuding for 17 years and this is it this is vinyl revenge oh wow it almost sounds like someone took one of the screws out of the ladder back there whoops game over well yeah don't don't do that don't fall on the fluorescent glass smash die and die I agree now we got heat stress safety training video as spring evolves into summer the potential for heat related illness Also Rises because I hate the heat collectively known as heat stress these illnesses include heat cramps heat rash heat syncope I don't feel so good heat sink heat cramps die cramping okay got it he trashed beautiful visual heat syncope I don't feel so good oh I wish I wasn't suffering from this heat syncope you guys didn't know what it was either that's what it is isn't it in this program we'll learn how to respond to victims of specific heat related problems and most importantly the heat death of the universe heat stress when exposed to hot conditions excess body heat is expelled when the amount of blood circulating to the skin has increased yeah I know how being hot works is this you can't seriously be telling me they're making a video about this I mean I don't know if this video kind of explained things properly I got to go follow up on the website here a TR – let's see what they got for us there it is understanding of preventing heat related illnesses $495 what the hell did they're selling this 16 minute video about sweating for $500 do you wonder what's even scarier than that that is apparently the best seller above stormwater pollution prevention plan one of them is standing the shade drink a cold iced water the other is there's pollutants in the water it's going directly into 5,000 families houses 16 newborns are affected stand the shade fat-faced when it gets a lot hot air New Zealand's safety oh my god is this what plays on the plane nothing can ever match the version America won with todrick Hall nothing will ever beat that one in my eyes oh my god that's a sweet I bet this is just Elijah woods actual normal date poor bastard he goes out to get a sandwich and some fat sweaty nerd comes up it goes I'm here to guide you on your journey so sis your regular browsing and listen very carefully oxygen is precious to beyond measure pull down on the mask place over your nose and just use a spell it's just weird seeing like Lord of the Rings fantasy characters putting on a freakin oxygen mask make a wall of worse water destroy a bunch of ring wraiths I was supposed to believe she needs a gas mask she's immortal god damn it unless you get stabbed they fit I think elves are mortal unless they get stabbed if there's a mishap during takeoff or landing as I can tell that's not enough that's not Gandalf I've seen game down it's not him I didn't need to see Gandalf brace for impact okay that man fell down with a Balrog for like 100 eons and his brain at least it was in the movie it was like five days but he's not gonna die if he crashes playing maybe you will else will lifejackets easily put on while say shit if you're seated in a sky couch it's in your leg rest and have just stated in business premier it's like beside you and if you're a peasant in economy class your life jackets up in Isengard ha ha just kidding you don't have one this man should be seated far away from the emergency exit out because I don't I don't trust his slippery buttery fingers fight your life check it by pulling on the roof sir the hope it's everything about New Zealand have you seen Lord of the Rings this is me and New Zealand cruel provide cute little lifejackets for a LITTLEST people why is he so small Hobbit in the movie but he's just Elijah Wood here very small man how much pussy you think it elijah wood gets when he's a little dude on this screen hey babe I'm at the bar you know who I am you ever been to New Zealand Airways I'm the little guy on the screen why is he so small it's really bothering me your crew are now pointing out your exits good there are things that could be behind yeah it's just not right that's not Gimli doesn't look like Gimli it's gross I mean Ghibli's gross but that's bro sir I don't fucking know turn this shit off get the plane off the ground get me back to fucking California introduction to basic health and safety nice and simple I like that let's see in this film we will outline the areas you need to think of and show you that health and safety need not be confusing I wasn't really confused an introduction to health and safety now you've confused me almost immediately and you promised me you weren't going to do that be familiar with your workplace you should be familiar with your workplace and the top she looks a bit too familiar he looks like he could use a getaway lifting this man looks like he's about to commit a crime he's casing the place for God's sake bend the knees and keep your back straight take a grip on the load and start to lift in a smooth upward movement that is the strangest way I've ever seen anyone lift anything in my life this is how you lift a box slips and trips are often seen as a joke however in reality nothing could be further from the truth although accompanied with cartoon songs one could easily make the mistake of giving a good chuck because something as small as a pen can cause serious damage when slipped on oh no they're not gonna actually show that on television are they slips trips and falls the fatal half-inch the fatal half-inch of course the fatal half-inch or how using your eyes can save your life you know the correlation is quite simple in this short video we will show you something most people don't realize about what causes us to trip and fall and how to avoid this dangerous hazard how many fucking people are tripping and need a video about it because apparently it's a lot for God's sakes people paying $500 to learn how to stay in the shade can you spot the trip hazards in this photo I gotta tell you I real I really can't is it the red bottle cap little piece of tape okay tell me where where is it where is it here's one where the surface changes all no it's not know it now I'm just gonna call bullshit on you here's no here here is not one would you see this one and two more changes in elevation more than half an inch all right this is turning into a string of actual conspiracy view this is what a conspiracy theory YouTube video looks like people tend to trip over things that we see all the time but don't normally notice if you look at this man trippin he looks normal till you zoom in and you see the Reptoid pop out at the last minute causing the manzanita buckle and for his body to fall forward in a rolling motion most people don't see that Reptoid bump come up on the first viewing and that's exactly what they want anywhere you see a crack in a walking surface lurks a potential trip hazard Jesus this is a new one I've never heard of a miner elevation paranoia I want to know when he went when he's scanning an area what is he seeing holy crap would you get a look at that what do you think they're trying to hide from us that's at least a good one two millimeters there stop stay where you are you could have tripped right over that man that's at least a good 6 millimeters deep you stay safe Jake all right I'll see you back at the office but can you see the other hazard sharp unexpected changes in elevation are particularly dangerous yes okay that's a bit more of a tripping hazard I agree if you're a bumbling moron we can get so used to hazard we forget they're their hazards hide in plain sight I'm just gonna put this out there I don't think that's plain sight I think that's a sewer or catacomb and those are usually put pretty much out of plain sight maybe the farthest from plain sight that anything in a society is keep in mind that it's the little things we don't normally look for that can reptoid one Reptoid two can't fool me okay I'm woke to this crap 23 remember it only takes half an inch to change your day for the worse use your eyes and be aware of those little trip hazards as you walk be paranoid be absolutely everywhere you go hyper vigilance is the key always be on the lookout for minor dangers no matter how unlikely namaste you know I gotta say I learned more than I thought I would from these things about time I applied a bit of this to my own life hi there here at jontron incorporated we've taken a hard look at our workplace safety procedures and have decided to revise them to keep our workers safe but most importantly to keep them alive because if your heart ain't beaten I ain't eatin look at these elevations hiding in plain sight this place is a deathtrap all right come on people keep hugging that floor wouldn't want anyone to trip and fall on a dangerous piece of ground the editing Bay seemingly innocuous place what could go wrong here the answer may shock you hey there Andrew what are you working on today I'm just downloading an mp3 of baby one more time on file sparrow Andrew you fool I told you to use a proxy if you were gonna do this they're gonna be here any minute as you can see danger is never more than a few clicks away and that's why at jontron incorporated our motto has always been we can't afford another lawsuit I just like to take a second to say that none of this would have been possible without Dollar Shave Club a big thanks to them for sponsoring this video and helping us bring more of this content into the world that we'd love to make for you no matter your routine Dollar Shave Club has everything you need to help you look feel and smell your best shower products oral care products hair products skin products but white products seriously have that and obviously shaving products they automatically keep you stocked up so you don't run out and you can choose your delivery frequency so you get what you need however often you need it fun fact I actually use their razor every day for real and it's quite a good product you just pop it on when you're ready and pop it off when you're done pop it on you can keep doing this all fucking day also here's a picture 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  1. Thanks again to Dollar Shave Club for helping to make this video possible! Show them some love by clicking this link and begin your journey of great shavings and great values!!

  2. I love the heat it's great the best ever since bread 🍞 🍞 🍞 🍞 🍞 🍞 🍞 🍞 🍞 🍞 🍞

  3. Why was the point man of the Swat team NOT the guy with the shield. I think the Swat team needs their own safety video

  4. Heat syncope is where you feel faint after being in the hot weather for a long time. I knew what it was Jon, I knew

  5. 5:42 Did they actually put an old man in a backwards baseball cap…? Let the man have his dignity… Just find a kid for this part, don't make an elderly man do it and shame him like that…

  6. Bro I tripped on fucking air on a sidewalk and broke my leg, tripping is a hazard for us clumsy people lmao

  7. Jontron I dont know why but your intro makes me feel weird like tripping on mushrooms weird. Gonna sit for awhile an try an figure out my lamb face.

  8. As a business, I wonder if the people selling those videos would show their own employees safety videos; and if so, would they use their own videos or one from another business.

  9. I can’t believe people haven’t used the stop it part of this video for memes yet. It’s almost gold.

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